A trickster, a suave gentleman, a hypnotic seductress
Shuffling the images behind my eyes
Changing shapes and colours.
Sweeping your bullets under the rug
Embarrassed, like a charming hostess
Of an ill-mannered dog.
Making me a slave
Forcing me on my knees
Kissing the palms that slapped me
[Frothing at the mouth
Runny nosed, red-eyed refugee
The landscape changed while
You were staring at the stars]
Time is a cruel master
Making me run around in laps
Letting the baby burn its finger again.
And again. I crawl to my undoing.
The broken bones and open wounds
The streaming tears and the resolutions
Forgetting and remembrance and regret
Come and go
And memory scoffs from her throne
I don’t want denial
And I refuse repression
I want the blood of my cut
To shine the path to tomorrow
I don’t want the hands of the clock
To wipe the cruelty on your face
In time. I don’t want healing.
The pain must not slip into subconscious
Among shards of glass and meat knives.